April 27.

April 27. To some people, that’s just a normal date. Most people probably don’t even think anything of that date. But that date, to me, is a day that changed everything.

It’s hard to believe it’s been a year since the tornado that claimed so many lives and destroyed so many lives, families, and homes ripped through Alabama. It’s hard to believe that I witnessed one of these monstrosities first hand. I still remember everything vividly, as if it were just yesterday. It still feels like it was yesterday.

I woke up that morning, thinking everything would be fine. It was a Wednesday. I felt like the weathermen were lying when they said it was going to be a bad day for weather in Alabama. Normally, I took tornado warnings lightly. I am (or well, was) the kind of typical Alabamian redneck that would go outside and look for the swirling gusts of wind in my yard alongside my family and neighbors. So I thought nothing of it. But then, around 3 o’clock, I left for my photography class. It was the final critique. Our professor, Chip Cooper, greeted us as usual but then informed us that he wanted us out of there as soon as possible because things were going to get bad. Real bad. So we rushed through the critique, and got out of there about 4 o’clock. His final words were, “Get your asses out of here as quickly as possible and stay safe. You’ve all been a real pleasure.” We all exited the building together, to find that the sky, that was previously filled with sunshine and hues of blue, had turned grey. Almost black. There was a stillness in the air and everything seemed calm. I rushed back to the dorm, afraid of the rain (or what I thought was going to be merely rain). Once I got there, my other roommates arrived and we all sat in the living room. On that purple couch.

Ashanka was studying for an ear training final. Minnie made herself some deviled eggs. Sonya and her sister Sabrena were carrying on a conversation. I was munching on a huge bag of jelly beans that my dad had gotten me for Easter. We were watching the weather channel. It started to rain heavily. The lightning was a bright red. I attempted to take photos of the lightning, but failed miserably. I jokingly claimed that we’d be alright unless the power went out. Shortly after I made that comment, the power did go out. And suddenly, we saw this massive grey cloud traveling quickly through the sky. Little did we know at the time that it was the top of the mile-wide tornado that ripped most of our city to shreds. Little did we know of the destruction it was causing. Little did we know that we were surviving one of the worst storms in history.

The power came back on for about an hour after the tornado was done doing its damage. We all scrambled for the internet and television so we could find out what was going on. We turned on the tv and saw images of places that were about 2 minutes driving distance from our dorm completely gone. Unrecognizable. We learned that the grey cloud we saw was the tornado. We all received millions of texts from family and friends asking if we were okay. Luckily, we were. We only had power for about an hour, then everyone’s cell phone service was lost. Except for mine. (Thank God for Sprint. Sometimes, Sprint can be wonderful.) Jimmy and Joey came over as well, and we camped out together in the living room for a bit before we all parted ways to try and get some sleep, despite the fact that the air conditioning and all lights weren’t working.

Home is Where the Heart Is.

It’s been a bit since I’ve been able to write, and as usual, I kinda forgot.

So, to update anyone who cares/actually reads this, here’s the scoop on what’s happened since I last posted:

My cousins came down from Cali and we went on a fishing trip. I caught several more fish than everyone else, so I’ve deemed myself a fish whisperer. I kept stealing all of my brother’s fish and it was fairly entertaining because he got pissed off and quit fishing because of it.

Then the Bama vs. LSU game happened. I’d rather not discuss what happened there. Let’s just say, it was not a pleasant outcome and I’m slightly ashamed that our student section behaved the way they did after the game was over. BUT! On the plus side, we still get a shot at the national championship because some really awesome major things happened in football this weekend. ROLL TIDE!

The next weekend was amazing, though. Jared came down and stayed the weekend with me. We pretty much did absolutely nothing except watch a bunch of Disney and Harry Potter movies. And Inception. Sunday was Quidditch. My team lost by 10 points because we were down by several scores when our seeker caught the snitch. But it was still lots of fun. Aussie, aussie, aussie!

This weekend, I went home again. It’s time for Christmas break to get here. Seriously. I’m to the point where I’m not motivated to do anything unless it involves not-school work. Just looking at what all I have to accomplish before I get a break for three weeks is stressing me out. I have 16 online French activities, a 2 page paper in French, a French test, a 4 page final in French, a 5 minute presentation in French, an enterprise story in JN311, a final in JN311, a final project in JN261 (a 12-15 picture photostory), turn in a portrait assignment in JN261, several one page papers for IHP, a take-home assignment for IHP, a final project in art (an accordion book that has 10 pages of images), plus some other random stuff I can’t think of at the moment. Bleeah that.

My drive back today was pretty bland because it was raining and I was mostly thinking about how badly I want to play Skyward Sword. But I got some thinking done. And I realized that I love Tuscaloosa. A lot. It’s my second home. But it’s not my true home. I’d much rather be in Florence anyday. It’s where my heart is. It’s where I belong. My family is there, my pets are there, my boyfriend is there. Nothing can replace it. I even love the scenery of Florence more than I do Tuscaloosa’s. I might just be weird, but I never have understood why most people in my high school were so ready to get out of Florence. I’d give anything just to be back there all the time. The worst part of my weekend is always having to drive away from it and head back down here. That’s probably another reason I’m so demotivated because I just wanna get to stay home for three weeks in a row.

Speaking of three weeks… This time in three weeks, Chris will be home and I cannot be more excited. So much to look forward to (besides all that school crap)! Anywho. I’m going to leave you with that.

Sincerely,

Carly

Keep on the Sunny Side

Hello! So, it’s been awhile since I’ve posted. I kinda forgot that I had this blog. And then I remembered while reading my friend’s blog (Thanks, Eden!).

Things have definitely gotten better since the last time I wrote! That awkward stage of slight depression has finally passed, due in most part to a particular person that I met near the end of the summer. (If that person remembers to find this blog, he’ll know who he is… :).

I’m incredibly nervous about tonight. Nothing too special is happening, but I’m nervous. For my health and safety. I’m participating in… a Quidditch tournament! That’s right, a Quidditch tournament. Me. Playing a sport. I don’t foresee this going too well. I’m not too fond of the idea of running around with a broom in between my legs and trying to catch a ball with one hand. I can barely run without falling without something in between my legs and I can barely catch a ball two-handed. Although, it will be a test of my skill (or lack thereof…) and it should be great fun because I’m on a team with many awesome people!

Tomorrow cannot come soon enough! Even though Fall Break just ended, I’m ready for Thanksgiving, and even Christmas for that matter. This weekend is going to be the biggest weekend of the year… the LSU vs. Bama game! My cousins are coming in from California and I haven’t seen one of them in like, 10 years. So I’m super excited! I also can’t wait for the game. It might as well be the national championship. It’s kind of a big deal. 😛

And then the next weekend after that! Ahhhhhhhh I cannot wait. But I won’t tell you why. 😉

It’s class time…so maybe I should leave you with that and attempt to participate. Attempt is the key word there. Until we meet again! (That is, if I remember to keep this thing updated frequently.)

Sincerely,
Carly

Surprises.

To be quite honest, 2011 has sucked. I hope it gets better as the year progresses (even though it’s already halfway over). Anywho. Some really strange things have happened the past 3 days.

On Saturday, my ex-boyfriend (my first ever boyfriend) comes to my house. Guess who he brings with him?! He brought his current girlfriend, who happens to be my ex-best friend (who this guy has dated 3 or 4 times already…). Talk about awkward…not only awkward, but slightly rude as well. I just acknowledged his presence and barely spoke. I let my him and my parents do all the talking while I sat there quietly beside my best friend as we caught vibes from the two lovebirds on the couch.

Just when I was getting over how odd that occurrence was, something else weird happened. My mom and I were sitting on the front porch minding our own business when some car comes down the street and slows down near our house and the person inside was creeping on us. It drove past our house, then turned around and came and pulled up in our driveway. Out steps my recent ex’s (if you could even call him that) mother. She came to inform us that she was putting a “for sale” sign in the empty lot next to our house. She stayed for a good bite -maybe about 20 minutes- and talked to my mother and me and she asked me several questions about myself and was all nice and friendly. It was slightly weird. I’m not sure why she acted so friendly toward me after everything she supposedly knows about what happened between her son and me. Hmm. But yeah… it was very awkward. I just pretended like nothing was wrong, answered all of her questions, laughed/smiled when appropriate, and said my ma’ams (you know, the usual politeness). I was pretty uncomfortable the entire time, though.

Life has really been throwing curveballs at me lately and reminding me of things that have gone wrong. I just want to know why… I just want to know what’s going to happen next, and when this awkwardness is going to pass. Although, the random strange situations have made my rather bland summer slightly interesting.

That’s all for now.

Sincerely,

Carly

Goodbyes.

Quite a bit has happened since I last blogged. Nothing has happened that’s been incredibly life changing, but some things have really made me think about small things in life. In the weeks since I’ve written, the next few things I’m going to talk about are the ones that have impacted me in some way.

I was spending the night at Sarah’s house and I was sitting in her floor when I felt this pinching sensation on the back of my leg, right above the knee. It began to itch and became very painful. I went to sleep thinking it was just a minor bug bite but I was wrong. I woke up that morning and my leg was in a lot of pain, so I checked the area out and discovered two tiny fang marks and a bruise the size of a tennis ball around it. I went home thinking I was fine and played Just Dance II and became really nauseous and developed flu-like symptoms. That night was miserable for me. I threw up several times, had cold sweats, then had hot flashes, and I had fever. My mom took me to the ER the next day, and it ended up being a spider bite. What happened at the ER was one of the scariest moments of my life. After the doctor saw the bite, he decided to give me a cortisone shot to prevent the bitten area from getting worse and to prevent me from getting any sicker. The shot was given minutes too late though, because shortly after it was given, before it had time to take effect, I started convulsing and passed out. When I became conscious again, I was told what happened and that I turned green. All I really remember is my mom yelling for help and myself collapsing into a chair. For a week after the bite occurred, I was really sick and couldn’t get out of the house. The whole event made me really thankful that it was just a minor brown recluse and not a major one. I realized how precious life really is and that I was blessed with good health because that tiny little bite could have taken my life. I also learned that I don’t do well being couch-bound for an entire week and that I have withdrawals from the outdoors. I’m not sure how some people stay indoors all the time and only socialize with two or three of the same people all the time.

Another major event that has changed me is seeing my brother going off to drug rehab. My family went through some really rough times these past two or three weeks trying to send him off. Problems have been present over the past 10 years but they had really gotten bad and it was time for him to turn his life around. I never knew how badly he thought of himself and how much he hated his life until the night he was stuck in Memphis. He texted my mother and told her that he hated his life and didn’t care if he lived or died. It was pretty much a slap in the fact for my family. If you happen to read this and you know someone that has an addiction issue of any kind, please know that they need as much love as they can possibly get. Loving someone can be the best type of remedy for any problem. My cousin in California called my brother, and I don’t know what she said to him, but he completely changed his attitude about going to rehab and gladly went the next day. Now, he is doing wonderfully there. The manager of the rehab called my parents and said that my brother has the kindest heart of anyone and has a great attitude about the program. That was some of the greatest news I’ve ever received. I love my brother so very much and I’m so thankful and happy to know that he is turning his life around. Saying goodbye to him was hard (especially for my mom), but we know that he is gone from our home for now for a good reason that will benefit his well-being, and ours as well.

Today I heard a song called “Goodbye” by Ke$ha. Some of the lyrics are:

Secret’s out, that I just might care about you
You broke me, you’re leaving
There’s nothing I can do

I’ll find a way to close the door
I want to say so much more but
I found you once, you’re lost again
Two thousand miles took what could have been

Hearing those words stirred up some thoughts. I thought back on every single one of my relationships, whether they were romantic relationships or just friendships and how those that have left have hurt me. Thinking back on people leaving and hearing the last line of those lyrics made me understand that the hardest part of saying goodbye is not knowing what could have been. Sometimes you can fix relationships, but sometimes there’s just nothing you can do. I need to find a way to “close the door” as they lyrics say and find a way to open new doors. If something is meant to be, it will happen and the opportunity will present itself. The problem is, how you close doors that are so important to you?

I believe this post is long enough now, and certainly more than any of you care to read. I’ll end it now.

Sincerely,

Carly

Acceptance.

I spent the night at Sarah’s house last night along with Lauren. For some odd reason, Lauren and I always have really deep, philosophical conversations on Sarah’s bedroom floor while she sleeps. I’m not sure why this happens specifically in that setting, but I’m always appreciative when it does occur. I always learn something from these talks, especially from the one last night.

We were talking about things in our life that we wanted to change. Things (well, not so much things as people) that we miss. Things we wish we could fix. After pondering and discussing for a good chunk of time, Lauren said something that really hit me hard. She said:

“We just need to accept what happened. We keep trying to put the blame on ourselves for what happened so we can try to fix things. We can try to fix what happened, and if it doesn’t work, we just need to find a way to move on.”

This was pretty much a slap in the face for me. Thing is, she’s absolutely right. All this time, I keep thinking that I did something to get myself in the situation that I’m in now. I keep trying to find a reason to put the blame on myself for what happened. But it wasn’t just me that caused things to end like they did and deep down, I know that but I’m having a hard time coming to terms with it. I keep trying to come up with ways to fix the situation. Hopefully, I can ameliorate the situation. If I can’t, I just have to accept the consequences and move on with my life as is. I’m going to try my hardest and see what happens from there.

Although this particular situation was one that was quite an undesirable one to be in, I have learned from it. I have learned that my most major flaw is that I don’t think before I speak. I have learned that I need to keep my mouth shut when I get mad/upset/hurt and think things through before I open my big mouth and say something I don’t mean. Hopefully in the future, this will prevent me from hurting those that I care about and prevent me from getting myself into trouble.

Sincerely,

Carly

Stronger.

I’m feeling sorry for myself. Stay away, this is my day. I’m loving it. I don’t want nobody’s help; I know what I need. Don’t feel sorry for me…I’m feeling sorry for myself. I don’t want to talk about it.
I wanna be left alone. It’s no big deal, it’s how I feel. . . . Don’t call, don’t come over, don’t try to make me love. -Nikki Cleary; Sorry For Myself

Sometimes, days like that are just necessary. I’ve been having a lot of those recently. Lately, I’ve been feeling really… odd. I definitely haven’t been myself. At all. I used to be a lot stronger than this, but everything has just been crashing down on me all at once and it’s really taking a toll on my emotions and how I feel. During the day, I am fine as long as I’m with someone and my thoughts are concentrated elsewhere. Night time is the hard part. Once I’m in my bed, laying there all alone, my thoughts go absolutely wild. I can’t shut my brain up, no matter how hard I try. I’ll scream in my mind, “SHUT UPPPP!” but nothing happens and the thoughts continue to flow. I just want to sit there and cry. Sometimes I do. I just feel empty, like a part of me is missing. Sometimes, this happens during the day as well. I’ll wake up feeling just fine and then for no reason at all, I just get really depressed. I hope this feeling goes away soon. I’m really sick of it. I just want to feel okay again.

Sincerely,

Carly

Inspiration.

I started this blog for the sheer purpose of making a decent grade in two of my journalism classes, MC 101 and JN 101. I never really had intentions of writing in this blog unless it was for those classes. But today, I was reading a friend’s blog and she inspired to me. I realized that there are so many thoughts and ideas that go through my head that just sort of leave my brain for good and then are never thought of again. I have made it a goal to document my thoughts, ideas, and lessons learned this summer at least once a week. Being a journalist in the making, it’s probably a good idea to write frequently. 😛

This same friend that inspired me to write today “Stumbled Upon” this website with journal writing prompts and one of them particularly triggered my thoughts. The prompt is: What are your religious beliefs?  Have they changed, or have they always stayed the same? Here’s my answer:

I used to be an extremely devout Christian. I was all for going to church and everything in which religion is comprised. As of almost one year ago, my perspective on this issue totally changed. I was “best friends” with two people that were also like me in the religious sense. We attended church together and church camps and concerts and we went to each other for prayer requests and help and just to be lifted up spiritually. We did everything together from crying at the alter, witnessing each other’s baptisms, and so on. I thought these girls were pretty much perfect; they were good friends, always there when I needed them, and they were “Christians.” Last year, that view changed drastically. One of these friend’s old/ex best friend transferred to my school and joined our little clique. The new girl was not religious and didn’t attend church and had a totally different attitude than we did. As time went on, my two friends started to reject her just because she wasn’t a Christian. The new girl soon befriended a lesbian, and this really changed their view of her. I realized that these two “friends” I had were extremely hypocritical. Christians are supposed to be loving, caring, and accepting.  They are supposed to love everyone, regardless of their flaws because everyone has flaws. But what did my friends do? They quit talking to this girl just because of her “sins.” As followers of Christ, we are supposed to “hate the sin, love the sinner.” Soon enough, the new girl and I bonded and became good friends. We attempted to tell the others what they were doing to her, but they just ignored us as if they were doing nothing wrong and switched the subject every time it was brought up. Eventually, I just quit talking the two of them and the new girl, the lesbian, and I became best friends. In the process, my religious beliefs changed. Now I rarely ever attend church and when I do, I don’t particularly like to attend. I believe more so in “love” than in religion. I still believe in Jesus and God, don’t get me wrong. I still believe that Jesus came down to earth to die for us and save us from our sins. I still believe that He is loving and forgiving and that one, I will have a place in Heaven. I just don’t believe that one has to attend church constantly to get there. I don’t believe in shunning someone just because of their sins. No sin is greater than another, and we ALL have flaws and we all sin, so why should one person be superior to another? Did Jesus turn those away that were adulterers, betrayers, and sick? No, He didn’t. He loved them just the same.  The world’s view of Christianity is dirtied and muddy because of people that think they are so high and mighty and shun those who are “below” them. There are so few “true” Christians today in this world and it’s really a sad thing. Honestly, I’d rather not be called one just because of the connotation the world has of them. I’d much rather just live by the Word of God and out of love.

Sincerely,

Carly

Why Blog?

In my Journalism 101 class, I was required to start a blog. I’d never really had much experience with blogging before this class. I also didn’t understand what the purpose of posting thoughts and opinions onto a website was. Throughout the course, I learned that blogging is one of the most underestimated, yet one of the most important, media outlets in journalism.

Why do we blog as journalists?

• We blog to expand the scope of a news story.
• We blog to provide insight on how a story was covered.
• We blog to provide an informed perspective on an issue.
• We blog to build a relationship with readers and viewers.
• We blog to develop a following for our work.

Blogs are one of the many new media outlets in this day and age. Blogging has become an essential skill to be a journalist. Journalists must build an online professional profile, and blogging is the perfect way to do so. Since the internet is taking over and traditional media is starting to fade, blogs are becoming more prevalent. Bloggers are competitors for news and information.

Blogging provides everyone (not just journalists) with a chance to share their opinion. Everyone can get involved by reading other bloggers’ posts and leaving comments. We, as citizens, have rights and responsibilities when it comes to the news! Blogging is a way to make one’s self known in a community without being published in a journal, newspaper, or magazine. Blogs are a great way to show off what one can do, and can serve as resumes for future jobs. Blogging is also a way to engage with other technologies. Blogs have a huge influence on people. They can make people choose to do something, or not to do something. Blogs are a starting point for conversations.

I have learned that blogging opens up a world of opportunity. Blogging can be just for fun, or it can wind up being lucrative. Blogging can help you reach people all over the world, or can jump start your career as a journalist. There are so many ways that blogging can be beneficial!

Generational Divide (Unit III)

Every morning upon waking up, I reach for my phone, anxiously awaiting to see if I have new Twitter updates. Following that, I open my laptop to check for the little red flag on Facebook. Afterwards, I make my way to Tumblr to see if my friends have posted any thing of interest. Since middle school, social networking has been an influential part of my life. I’ve always taken a part in the latest trends of social networking. When Xanga started, I frequented the site numerous times a day. I even learned HTML just so I could make my own layouts. After Xanga started to fade away, I discovered Myspace. I used it for a couple of years, then I stumbled upon Facebook. A few years after Facebook became popular, Twitter emerged. Sure enough, it sucked me in like every other social networking site. Just when I thought the creation of new addicting outlets would end, Tumblr became prevalent.

As for my parents? They have no idea why I get caught up in the hoopla of social network sites. Back in their day, they dealt with handwriting letters to their friends or passing notes in class. To get the news, they had to wait patiently every day for the newspaper. They had to tune into the television or radio at night for the latest updates on the news. Although there are a few parents who have given in and created a Facebook or Twitter account, the majority of adults refuse to participate. Why? Older audiences are more skeptical and prefer to rely on traditional media (Understanding Media in the Digital Age). Since new media is becoming more prevalent among younger generations, traditional media is struggling. According to Consumeraffairs.com, “Online adults 55 and older are much more likely than 18-34 year olds to go to local television news all the time or occasionally (88% vs. 63%) and to local newspapers (81% vs. 56%) when they are looking for news.” In a few years, traditional media is in danger of disappearing. The new posterity will endanger traditional media because they will move on to even newer technologies than we have today. According to Understanding Media in the Digital Age, “Young people are also more open to citizen journalism, especially to reports from their peers and other ordinary individuals, rather than news gathered by professional reporters working for the media.”

Now, consumers can bypass the “appointment” media. They can retrieve news and information on a continuous, 24/7 basis. Several years ago, this would have been impossible (Understanding Media in the Digital Age). Citizens now can receive automatic updates on their cellular devices from newspapers and magazines. They can receive updates from celebrities and friends on their phones through Twitter and Facebook. They no longer have to wait around for the news medias that are delivered on specific schedules.

The younger generation prefers to have their news as quickly and efficiently as possible. They also look to their friends and other citizens for the news. According to Understanding Media in the Digital Age, “Young people are also more open to citizen journalism, especially to reports from their peers and other ordinary individuals, rather than news gathered by professional reporters working for the media…Sometimes news that is ‘cool’ trumps the duller traditional reports.”

As a young person, this makes me feel like I will be successful as a future journalist. I will be well-prepared to tackle the upcoming social networking outlets because I have grown up with them and use them daily.